The Hot Mess Express

Now for all those tuning in who don’t know what a “hot mess “is, Urban Dictionary defines it as: A person, who is a handful, he/she is a piece of work, and or a colorful character….

Well, that definition is surprisingly on the nice side.

Why am I teaching you slang? Well, because this post will be talking about one Hot Mess in the form of Lindsey Lohan. Let's just take a look back at some of her wonderful decisions courtesy of the Examiner.

• May 26, 2007: Arrested for first DUI. Reinters rehab at Promises Treatment Center facility for a 45 day program. Voluntarily fitted for SCRAM bracelet to monitor her sobriety.
• July 24, 2007: Arrested for second DUI. Charges include: Felony possession of cocaine, misdemeanor DUI and driving with a suspended license.
• August 2007: Pleads guilty to misdemeanor cocaine use and driving under the influence and was sentenced to one day imprisonment and 10 days' community service.
• November 15, 2007: Served 84 minutes in jail. The probation was extended by an additional year in October 2009, following several instances in which Lohan failed to attend the court-ordered substance abuse treatment classes.
• May 2010: Lohan did not appear for a scheduled DUI progress report hearing.
• July 6, 2010: Probation revocation hearing. The judge determined that Lohan had violated the terms of her probation and sentenced her to 90 days in jail, starting July 20; in addition, the judge ordered Lohan to check into an inpatient rehab program for three months after her release from jail.
• September 24, 2010: Lohan's probation was revoked following a failed drug test. She spent part of the day in jail before being released on bail
• February 9, 2011: Lohan was charged with the theft of a necklace reported stolen from a jewelry store in January. 
• November 6, 2011: Lohan reports to jail. She is released within hours on Monday morning, November 7, 2011.

Obviously this previously adorable child actress, who once played in movies such as the Parent Trap, has traveled pretty far down the wrong path. So, now I must ask you all who read this...

WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HER ON AS A PR CLIENT?

Who would be crazy enough to think they could do anything for this poor women's career? Maybe, just maybe, the people who have taken her on think they will become famous if they are able to change her reputation. Well, I say good luck, cause you are going to need. You will need luck, or magic.

Surprisingly, the firm that is taking Mrs. Lohan on as a client is Rogers & Cowen. They are pretty big name when it comes to PR and the entertainment industry and have plenty of awards. However, I can't help but question if that will be enough experience to help this case. 

I am all for giving second chances and trying to get back to your job. But Lindsay has to be on like her fourth of fifth chance and then it is just getting ridiculous. You can not help someone who doesn't first help themselves.

So, go ahead and cancel interviews with people who won't ask the right questions. Go ahead and try and focus on her acting and her job and not her personal problems. Then watch that all back fire as the audience, who is not going to be fooled by what I feel is trying to fix a gaping wound with a band aid, remembers that this is still Lindsay Lohan they are watching and isn't she that crazy chic?

I don't care how much shy is paying, that is so not worth it.

Classy ankle bracelet Lindsay. I know I now want to buy the products she is promoting. Or maybe I'll just steal it. I'm getting mixed messages.

Well, I'm hoping of this train. Say goodbye to the hot mess express because it is leaving the station, and I have a feeling it's going to be heading for major crash in the near future.